Bell's Final Journal

A tome found in The Cloud Temple Library. It was written by Arch Mage Lady Bell in Aegis.

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I have not been as diligent with keeping writings as I once was. This is disappointing on my part, but... circumstances prevented it. What is there to say now, really? I have given up. I have been... captured, tortured by the Undead many times now. I have removed the spells which cause the Monks to retrieve my body with ease, even within such a tainted place as the Undead Keep. Why they... he... wants me to join him, so badly, I do not know. Nor do I care to know.

But, before I go into that, I should clarify what I have been doing. The Arcane Mage graciously offered me a position as an Arch Mage a few years ago. I was happy then. I was expecting to be able to find a way to save Aegis, to protect it... I failed, obviously. But I am sure now, more than ever, that the disturbance in the Balance has been caused not by a failure on the part of any of the Four Races, but on the failure of those this "test" was administered to. I believe more than ever that this all was a test for the children of the Aenguls. A test which they failed. The Undead were never meant to have the massive effect on the world that they have. The Veil is falling apart. With it, Iblees is gaining more power. Yet, ironically, the further weakening of the Veil is the only thing which could grant us the use of magic! How the world laughs at us. The Veil must be sealed. This has gone on long enough. Magic is not worth the insanity that the undead bring, the chaos and destruction and pain.

But I have not the power to do so. I have been fighting the undead in my own way. Defending the places they attack... And turning their own followers against them. Latsi, I truly hope you are happy. I... truly hope you do not allow them to get to you, either physically or mentally. Do not fall, my would-be apprentice. I realize you will likely never read this. If worst comes to worst, I will have to either end my own life... or have someone end it for me. I will not allow myself to be turned. And this book will likely rot on the shelves of the Library... which is fine by me. There is no need for the world to read words from a traitor like myself, who... has many times nearly given in to the temptation, just to make the pain stop. Latsi at least must stay a bastion of truth. An example of what you can become... Though it would have been better if he had not joined the Ascended, though if he stayed with me he surely would be being tortured also. Regardless, it would be selfish of me to try and attempt to change his mind. He is free. Let him do as he pleases. And I... am free for the time being, as well. Hence I write this missive quickly lest they find me again.

Unfortunately a side effect of the.... things that have been happening to me is the return of numerous memories. Some from long ago, long forgotten... these hurt the I care not to get into them, but I... I cannot believe I forgot them in the first place. All of them hurt, really. I recall meeting the first Prophet. I recall the offer he gave me, the things... that happened then. How I almost fell to my temptations. The current Prophet simply loves brining those memories up, the ruddy... I believe he was upset when he lost me the first time. The fact that I rose back to fight against him again made it worse. That, and the fact that I turned Latsi against them angered them as well. I failed at changing Kevin, though at first I thought I suceeded. I failed at convincing Algor otherwise. In truth, my failures outweight my successes. And the betrayals that I have faced have made me bitter, angry, paranoid. They belittle the trust I place in people and the friendships that I keep. I fear death.... but I fear rising from it more. If I can survive this trial... I will write again. More frequently than I have been. If I do not... I apologize in advance. If I somehow falter and become tainted, please. Please kill me. Do not let me hurt my compatriots, my friends, the people that I hold dear. Killing me would be the greatest favor one could grant me. I need to finish this now. I do not want to lure them back to the Mage's Tower in their hunt for me. I... there isn't much to say. The Ascended and the Undead were put on this earth as a test, a test which was failed. The Veil needs to be strengthened, not weakened, even if it costs us magic. That... is all there is to say.

Stay strong in the face of these circumstances.

Signed,

The Arch Mage, Lady *a longer name is written here, then scratched out beyond recognition* Bell