Shoi's Scribed Journal

Thus is the journal of the Ascended, Shoi. It is unlikely that this could be found in-character, as it was in Shoi's possession at all times.

Journal

Entry One

Another restless night... I can start to feel the energy drained from by body. I'm becoming more deprived of sleep. I actually cut my fingers several occasions tending to the thistle fields. The Master Herbalist is starting to notice. He told me to take a day off... I spent the day in the library, reading more on history.

But the dream...

So much blood, I still have no idea how they never noticed me. My mother was so protective. Why did they have to take her life. She did nothing but help the humans. I owe Urasept my life...

Entry Two

I didn't understand what I saw today. I'm thankful for Decora and Vardak letting me hide in their home till I figure out what had happened. There is so much going on in my head it's hard to keep it straight. I am still trying to figure out what the wind said, I swore I heard a woman's voice. I couldn't find Rilath or any other ascended. The undead were walking in the day light, I heard them talking. About the Sage's disappearing. I don't understand... They whisper Rilath was in the dark creed again... I hope this is not true. Just the thought- makes me ill. I have taken the time to color my hair with ash... It makes me feel disgusting to have to hide. But with them looking for my death, I cannot trust anyone for now. I owe Syrio with my life. Allowing me to hide in Alras till this all is figure'd out... Entry Three I spoke with Selina, our mind-link was severed but on seeing her I was able to establishment it. I was so happy to see her alive. She told me of the last Sage's I had heard about. I was shocked of their actions. But she reassured me about Garn's ideas and even though he wasn't expecting... Other's were following. I will make sure to travel to the north to seek out Garn's wisdom. Selina was also pleased to hear of my child. It made me so happy to see her again. I'll never forget our first day learning magic together, and how she laughed in class at Sage Sue with his stern yet funny studies. How I have missed her and the other ascended. They are my brethren and my sisters. My family.

Entry Four

I was shocked, the moment I walked up Garn knew whom I was. He said the eyes gave it all away. Even the way I stood he knew about the child. We spoke a lot of what was occurring and how people were forced in the was of the ascended but seemed to be adapting in their ways. He told me of the idea of over throwing the last Sages. It all just seems about war... Why can there not be peace in the world. My mind ache at the thoughts. I agree'd with Garn I would return and find my light again. Which came sooner then I thought. Meeting new faces was exciting and fun. Seeing old friends brought a long lost smile to my face. To be welcomed home was all I could ask for.

Then Garn handed me a letter, said it was to me. I swiftly ripped it open. Arcadius and Blaedr had left me their possessions. They left staves to be given to the ascended, and their books for knowledge. I couldn't stop reading, the words were so many... I couldn't stop reading. I discovered the location of the Tree of Life still living in the word even though Haven was gone. I couldn't keep my mind straight so I wondered the encampment. The things I read were so vast. My head ached trying to sort everything out.

Working on ideas and plans with Garn was fun and interesting as Abeam and Renzbro seemed excited. Telling me how the group would now be called Enlightened. Their excitement made me laugh. Seeing joy rather then fear was so enjoyable. Selina was often peering in and out as she was taking Chrisdena under her wing. I was lost. I didn't know what I was doing as I only could pass on what I could to them, Garn asked for me to help teach them to become true ascended.

But first I had to learn something...

Entry Five

I have done it! I can not believe I have mastered it. I saw Arcadius do it when he healed Rilath's undead chest wound. Summoning a flame without the assistance of a staff. The pain and suffering is worth learning this trick. Now it's so easy and simple. It drained my energy fast though... Without using something to focus allows me to use more energy faster, but with the lack of energy it is hard to keep at it... I cannot wait to teach my students. Though I hope they do not forget our allied staves for they assist us greatly in long term battles.

Entry Six

Unlocking the idea of the forgiveness to a new level. The ascended saving the undead. Upon figuring out the idea undead are allowed their souls yet connected to their body. Selina discovered to seal taint away in gems she had begun collecting for studies. So I turned my attention towards a small body. Being his name was Lennith and recently dragged into the undead ranks. We did a ritual on Brevias before he became Overlord. Using our blood to help regen a new body for himself. Chrisdena, Selina, and myself have found that out our blood is unlocked a way of devouring the taint. The blood seems to recolor when it’s touched by air to imbue some magical property. Selina’s and Chrisdena resonated gold and my own a silver. As taught in the ways of healing Selina and I have given the idea that we can take the undead taint onto ourselves. Taking the curse by force though the magic of assistance. It’s extreamly painful and I still bare the mark from Brevias cleansing. I cannot allow the others to know of this doing. I’ve noticed the pain grow when I am near Brevias. Like a beacon towards him. So I draw myself further for them hidden in the north.

But then Lennith... The pain is easier to bare. Seeing his brightened face bring me great joy to see him play with his brother. Taking him in was hard at first but the mark I bare from his cleansing is not as large for being to unknowing of his powers. Though now taught under the wings of the ascended. He has a bright future, I hope.

And so I hate to place this down on paper for myself to read over and over. Is it a sin to save the ones we were swore to protect against into our ranks...? I pray not to see the new joy in their faces for saving them, tis all I could hope for. Is this what the true purpose of us is. To save those whom are fallen...?

Entry Seven

The pain is hard to explain. I can feel the magic becoming weaker at my fingertips. It's like breathing almost and I can feel it slowly suffocating from my veins. I fear I have granted the most serious crime of all ascended. I took what was not rightfully mine to take. Even though it was to save a life I cannot allow the transfer of the undead to continue. It runs along the lines of this place we call Aegis. For every action there will be a equal reaction... Or in this case a punishment... I am determined to teach Lennith and Arathyn proper magic before I lose what I am able to do. It's hurts again to summon magic at my fingertips. I relay heavily on the staff once again. Even with the staff... I cannot find the fire to cast even properly. Even if I am able to... I can feel the mark increase. I fear of it, I do not know of it's purpose but the pain it causes... Is so great, now it has seemed to appear on my arm overnight. It looks like a black serpent. I have these vivid dark dreams, I wake without breath occasionally. The nightmare do not grow any weaker as the nights and days draw on. Sleep escapes my grasp. I can feel each being I help, only drawing me possibly closer to a true death that I will be unable to escape.

Even with the link of another the pain become more grave. I cannot live like this any longer. Thaelen's concern has me worried of my own life, what would become of my sons... I've already lost friends to the darkness once again. The ones whom help model me into this life under Aeriel. I fail them all eventually it seems. I do not understand what Aeriel wishes of me. I hate to sound selfish, but wouldn't their lives be better without my influence. Rilath, Lucas, Decora, Vardak, Zephyr, Timayame, Lennith, and Vulgrak. I cannot help but question my involvement in their lives. Would they have been happier or even stronger without me. Rilath could have had the power he craved... I see now what he was... And I failed him. I tried so hard to save Lucas from what he wished for most, now he alliances with them. Have I even failed him? Decora and Vardak... If I had not landed on their doorstep with child... Would the feel of the undead not have effected Vardak and took Decora away... Timayame... He always seems so sure of his actions... Yet he crumbles at them near me, am I destroying his life... Then my sweet child... I felt so sadden for his soul the most. I took it onto myself. To be returned to his body with the help of the others to recover his body. I know that was the day the mark appeared. Did I seal my own fate. When I took his security away from Brevias and Iblees grasp? I know the undead will not rest till we ascended are demoralized or worse... Dead. I took another soul, drawing it was harder then Lennith's... Did I take his chances at survival away from him? Then... take my own away in turn. I cannot save those who do not wished to be saved... I lived by those words for several others sakes, what if... I saved those whom should not have been. I fought so hard... -tears appear on the page- Only to lose. I cannot allow the undead to keep this fight against Aegis. They destroy homes and families. Take what is not theirs to take. And I see now that no one should take a soul from it's proper place.

Not even the ascended.

Entry Eight

I write with a heavy hand... Today was difficult with the death of whom I considered a father... Arcadius. I could see the pain in all their faces, the ascended and the people. It drew heavily on my heart. I noticed in my anger towards the undead I burned my palm when attacking the undead whom did such an act. I didn't have a chance to finish him off as he seemed to disappear. He just turned into smoke and ash. I hope I have dented his power and keep him down for Aegis to recover. I believe Blaedr has taken the loss even harder then myself. Which only made me more sadden to see his heart harden.

May Arcadius rest in peace with Aeriel. I will not stop till the UAC and Aegis are united and we can seal the nether. Seeing these plans more clearly now. Arcadius was a massive loss, but I fear the worse has yet to come to us...

Entry Nine

I will never forget the pain. I do not know what it was, but to see an undead hold a blade. So effortlessly, it even penetrated my torso like it was nothing. I could not even breathe the moment it touched me. My magic was completely stopped as well, like I lost all recollection on how to even cast a spell. This made me worry, the fact something so powerful was in that undead hands. Luckily Aleryn exhausted herself on my behalf to keep me alive. I still have no idea how she did it, everything is still a blur...

I awoke to hear the fall of Al'khazar. I was there I couldn't even protect Enor... Though he manage to escape with Felix. The ascended managed to help a druid in removing the haze long enough to help them safely out of the city. I fear the undead are plotting since they have been almost silent since the take over. Martin, Selina, and myself managed to complete the bits we had of the map and started working on what we hope to save the people of Aegis. To help guide them to a brighter future. But only time will tell if they will be willing to work with us and be saved. Or run from the undead forever. For this may end all the ascended hold dear.

Then I remember, as some of the people seem to grow to hate us. They forget, we were once mortal like them. With families, even some now have families. And this we wish to return to, but Aeriel picked us to help protect against something that only turns to smoke in their hands. Sometimes even are own hands. But true magic can hopefully hold them at bay, with Aeriel's gift I pray this.

Entry Ten

Gordok recovery has been difficult. Blundermore's and Aleryn's efforts seem so fruitless against the burns. Their healing hardly does a thing to them. So I see they are properly cleaned and bathed, but his rambles... They were so confusing and hard to understand, but slowly we pieced together how the undead torchered him, burning him alive. We tried to soothe his burden, but it seemed he was only comforted by us being near him. He always seemed to force a smile when Syrio visited. He brought books and maps for him to look and read over. They seem to help greatly with his troubled mind... But I sadly do not think he will ever fully recover, his burns. They blister and bleed if not tended to.

I cannot recall when I last really felt the sun, it feels like we've been in these caves for decades... Gordoks words are more clear now, but his sentences still broken and gumbled. Though to see him walking with a cane is better, though he falters to much still to be left alone. I've also noticed Syrio's visit have been come less and less, I would think it's been several weeks since his last visit. No one will answer me when I inquire of his were about. I've become nervous, but I do not think I can leave Gordok's side till he has recovered enough, when ever I leave he seems to worsen.

Entry Eleven

We've searched everywhere. But Gordok has vanished. We cannot find him anywhere. I cannot imagine his fate. He is still not fully recovered. I woke and his bed was empty and books and documents scattered around the room. I am without breath. We search all his hiding spots, all empty. He is no where to be found. He was determined to find Syrio I think. I cannot fathom were he could be, or if he is even alive.

I don't know what to do. Lennith is ready do rid himself of these caves. We will soon leave I feel that to many memories are locked here. To hard to shake them...