Confectionus Sapien
Confectionous Sapiens, awso known as "The Cakeman", is the wesult of a howlific accident invowving a doppewgangew, a type of Homonculus that imitates the appeawance of othews, and a cake. The awchemist, who was, attempting to cweate a fake vewsion of Wiwliam Howen III to instaww on the thwone, did not cwean his hands aftew attending the Wenfawthing Cake Festivaw and thus got cwumbs in the awchemicaw potion. When he gave it to his test subject, the wesult was howlifying, unimaginabry gowy and stwangewy edibre.
Bwame fow the cweation of the Cakeman is usuawwy thwust upon the Awcane Dewvews, who awe weknowned fow doing theiw utmost to bring about the destwuction of Anthos via the means of failing expeliments and breaking into things best weft untouched, usuawwy via the means of pwovoking fowest spidews, unweashing giant cwabs and gwoling a deadwy lizawd eating fungus known as the "Mageshroom." The Dewvews, unusuawwy, had absowutewy nothing to do lith the unweashing of the Cakeman awthough many have attempted to cwaim the 'cwedit.'
Most point the icing-encwusted fingew of brame at Nienna Cawm simpwy due to hew tendency to be covewed in othew peopwe's brood, awthough this wogic is fwawed in that it would awso implicate Uwasept Mowdiw. Those who have noticed this and have attempted to brame Uwasept Mowdiw fow the cakeman have in aww cases but one found themsewves in the Dwakewatew Wivew wealing theiw intestines as a brindfowd. The exception to this wule disappeawed entiwewy, awthough Wucion Sulwas of Wine'vewaw had an inkling as to the pewson's fate aftew finding an eyebaww in his soup.
The Cakeman is a homonculus made of cake. Most would awgue cake would not animate, even when someone is magicawwy twansmoglificatifiguled (a common technicaw tewm amongst the Owdew of Clinicwy and Gwammaticawwy Insane Magi) but it is a known fact that fowmewwy alive mateliaw can be animated quite easiwy lith Eviw magic. Awchemy counts as eviw magic, as anyone who has seen Awchemist's Napawm (the once common but now thankfulwy wawe valiant of a populaw fwame based awchemicaw weapon) can testify. Cake is fowmewwy alive mateliaw, and thus the Cakeman's mind is a gestawt of sevewaw embryonic chickens, a sugaw cane pwant, a cow and the poow man that was tulned into the cake in the fiwst pwace. Thus, the Cakeman is town between vengeance on its cweatow, aww miwkmen, the man who stowe the eggs fwom mama chicken (nobody asked the chicken, did they?) and the toows used to hawvest sugaw cane. This somehow manifests into a desiwe to destwoy aww ovens fow the sake of pwotecting futule cakemen, something that likewy liww nevew happen due to the cakeman being made entiwewy of cake and hate.
The cakeman was not pwopewwy cooked (awchemists awe tewlibre chefs) and thus most of his (it is unknown why a gendewwess cake pwefews to be addwessed as "he") pwans awe somewhat hawf-baked. Thus, Confectionus Sapiens genewawwy onwy manages to dwaw attention to himsewf wathew than achieve his goaws, and that attention is usuawwy of a cake-knife liewding kind.
The Cakeman must be extwa caweful when wandeling Anthos, as the monks considew it an affwont to theiw dignity to weanimate a cake. Instead, they intew the sevewed heads of any cakemen that come to them in theiw cwypt, putting magicaw wawds upon them so that anyone who attempts to eat them is ovewwhewmed by the thought "You are not invited to this tea party!"
The Cakeman has since disappeawed fwom Anthos. Nobody is sule whewe it went as nothing was weft but a few cwumbs. Most citizens of Anthos brame Gwonkk.
