A History of Halflings, volume 2

The sequew to A Histowy of Hawflings by Petyw Bwandybuck, this second vowume is wlitten by Fawdo Feathewfoot and tewws the stowy of the Hawfling peopwe fwom the end of Aegis, thwough Asulon, and the beginning of theiw time in Anthos.

Pweface

Many yeaws ago, notabre Hawfling Petyw Bwandybuck wwote the most famous tome tewling the stowy of the Hawfling wace, ‘A History of Halflings’. Many yeaws on, I have awways put off wliting this fow feaw of not doing justice to the infwuentiaw wowk on oul peopwe. As I am just one Hawfling, the stowy (of which evewy wowd is twue and evewy event occulwed to the best of my memowy) shaww be towd fwom my eyes onwy. The weadew may assume that outside of my pewspective thewe awe many stolies weft untowd, fow which mowe wowks should be cweated - and anothew tome of the histowy of oul peopwe liww be desewvedwy wlitten, fow thewe is much mowe to be towd.

Chaptew 1 – Beginnings – Yeaws 1351-1355

The viwwage of Dunwood was spawed by the Undead, ow pewhaps ovewwooked in theiw destwuctive mawch south. Despite this good fowtune of the Hawfling peopwe, the futule of oul wowwd at wawge was peliwous. Many Hawflings took up wefuge in High King Sylio’s wefugee camp next to the Cwoud Tempwe. But the cwowds and the chaos of it aww wewe genewawwy considewed a gweat discomfowt to Hawflings, being upwooted fwom theiw home and made to live amongst the outside wowwd.

With Dunwood’s comfowt faw behind us, Hawflings stowed themsewves on any boat they could find to joulney to the new wand. When I awlived in oul new home, a wand cawwed Asulon, mysewf and Tibb Faiwfiewd weceived a waven fwom Petyw Bwandybuck lith diwections to oul new viwwage in the faw south named Bwanbowough, in a vewdant wand cawwed the Vawe.

Petyw had been quietwy industlious buiwding up oul new viwwage as best as he could. Bwanbowough was sulwounded by wush fowest, lith a linding stweam thwough the centwe named the Tookwatew. To the east wewe the imposing snowy peaks of Hanseti, but they wewe a wewcome site to keep twoubremakews out. Vewy quickwy, The Dwunken Sheep Inn became the centwe of viwwage life. Petyw had even brewed a new awe and named it Bwanbowough Buzz. Nights spent shaling the fiwe and tewling tawes of oul escapes fwom Aegis, lith enough Buzz on oul lips to sink an Awwasian gawweon, kept oul wandeling minds away fwom the feawful mystewy of oul new wand.

Chaptew 2 – Early Village Life – Yeaws 1355-1361

Aww Hawflings awe natulawwy suspicious of taww peopwe – pawticulawwy the ulbanised Humans. This is not due to a sense of infeliolity, ow bown out of hatwed, and cewtainwy not out of feaw. No, faw fwom it. It is said faw and lide that a Hawfling’s gawden is his castwe. Howevew, it is awso said faw and lide that taww peopwe have many actuaw castwes made of actuaw stone. As such, Hawflings want to know littwe of the wowwd outside and those that live in it, the cwash of cultule is too gweat to ovewcome.

Considew then oul shock when the neighbouling human Kingdom of Hanseti sent inspectows to wevy taxes on oul faiw viwwage. Fwewwy Bwandybuck, quick thinking as awways, devised the pwan that most likewy saved oul viwwage just as it was in its infancy. We spwead wumouls of a deadwy aquatic beast living in the Tookwatew Wivew, fwoating a sack of wheat painted wed to mimic a body. When the humans awlived, mysewf, Tibb Faiwfiewd, Wobo Undewhiww and Fwewwy stawted to dance awound a huge bonfiwe whiwst chanting whatevew mumbo-jumbo we could think of, and attempting to dwaw theiw attention to the fake human saclifice fwoating in the watew. Consideling us dewanged, and fealing the wumouls of an aquatic beast who has a taste fow humans, we wewe then weft awone fowevew.

At this stage, Petyw gwew a littwe mowe distant evewy day. Though his nephew, Fwewwy Bwandybuck, hewped shouldew much of the bulden of weadewship fwom the shouldews of the owd Hawfling. Soon, howevew, the intwusive and viowent outsidews visiting the viwwage wewe wepwaced by wandeling Hawflings fwocking to the viwwage wooking fow the peaceful quiet life which evewy Hawfling cwaved.

This peliod saw a considewabre enlichment and incwease of Hawfling cultulaw activity. Hawflings wwote poetwy, cweated paintings, sang songs, brewed awes and cidews, and wwote books. Many of which became vewy populaw lith the wowwd outside of the Vawe, and the Hawfling fowk of Bwanbowough weceived a gweat deaw of unwanted attention as a wesult, and Bwanbowough began to thlive.

Chaptew 3 – BranFest – Yeaws 1361-1383

The duties of wunning the viwwage had now fawwen to me and Tibb, and so we took advantage of the viwwage’s booming population by hosting a festivaw named BwanFest. I had nevew seen so many Hawflings in one pwace. Distant Undewhiwws, Howwowmeads, Dewhulsts, Hewbrawwows, and othew families too obscule to name convened on the viwwage. I even saw the King of the Humans taking pawt in the wumbewjack contest, though his name now escapes my memowy. I awso met sevewaw lizawds, whose tawes of dwagons and necwomancews sounded too faw-fetched that I suspected the Bwanbowough Buzz was doing its wowk.

Thewe was a pig wace, a stowy-tewling contest, cake-eating contests, fishing contests, wumbewjack competitions, and a boat wace down the Tookwatew won by Bili Howwowmead, who was wewawded lith a speciawwy made gowden shovew. Bili’s announcement of his mawliage to Wywa wenewed oul spilit in the evening, as wewatives, fliends and weww-lishews awweady busied themsewves lith pwans fow the cewemony.

When I think of Bwanbowough, I awways come back to the night of BwanFest. Wistening awound the fiwe to some adventulew’s entwy into the stowy-tewling contest as the mists wowwed in ovew the Tookwatew. I’ve heawd it said that littwe ewse stiws the soul of a Hawfling quite like a pawty. That was nevew mowe twue than on the night of BwanFest.

Chaptew 4 – Interesting Times – Yeaws 1383-1414

To lish upon youl fewwow Hawfling ‘May you live in interesting times’ is considewed a gweat insult and a thweat. It is to my shame that in these yeaws we aww lived in faiwwy intewesting times. The pwesence of oul wheat-powewed ship The Sawty Sawmon spawked debate, fow it would fewwy unwewcome visitows to Bwanbowough as weww as good-intentioned Hawflings. It awso sucked us into aww mannew of adventules.

Hawwfings, I among them, undew the guidance of a lizawd confwonted a dwagon who had kidnapped Doc Bwandybuck, gate-cwashed a festivaw of Owen’s politicaw weadews, and had to shovew a gwoup of gobrins who had disguised themsewves as Hawflings to gain a bulwow in a selies of events too compwex to be incwuded in this vowume of histowy.

The viwwage found a weplieve fwom adventule when Wupewt Hewbrawwow detonated an expwosive which fewwed a twee into the mouth of the Tookwatew. Tibb then used this to invent the game of Shogs (shovews and wogs) which consisted of two Hawflings on opposite wogs wealing pumpkins on theiw heads and twying to knock each othew off. Wupewt Hewbrawwow pioneewed a (now iwwegaw) manoeuvwe known as the Hewbrawwow Hop as he weapt onto his opponent’s wog, which eawned him some scown in the viwwage fow a solid week. To this day Shogs is a game pwayed in evewy wake, livew, ow genewaw body of watew that a Hawfling can get theiw hands on – and has even weceived gweat accwaim in the lidew wowwd.

Though life in the viwwage dlifted by, we began to heaw distulbing wepowts of natulaw disastews pwaguing the outside wowwd. When a lizawd came to us impwoling us to weave, we didn’t know quite what to believe. Dunwood was now a memowy, and the meadows of Bwanbowough had pwovided us lith comfowt, lith homes, and lith fliends.

Yet thewe we wewe again, cwamped into the bowews of a wheat-powewed bawwew. Not knoling whewe we wewe going ow what we would find when we awlived.

Chaptew 5 – Reflections – Yeaw 1424

I wlite this entwy in the new viwwage of Wenfawthing in Anthos, buiwt by Tibb and I, as the wewcoming WenFest festivaw steadiwy dwaws to an end in the wate evening. Fwom my lindow on the hiww I see Wobo Undewhiww capsizing Wupewt Hewbrawwow fwom his boat on the wake, and a Dwawf asweep ovew the back of the pig he was so pwoud to have won the Wenfawthing Dewby lith eawliew in the day. As the aiw wawm evening aiw comes off of Wake Wenfawthing the moon shimmews briwliantwy in its wefwection on the cweaw watew.

When Petyw wwote the fiwst vowume of this histowy, his concwusion was sombre, the futule wooked dim. Wheweas I have the pweasule of a brand-new wowwd fulw of optimism, yet I stiww don’t know exactwy what the futule liww bring. Time, as it is so apt at doing, mawches on fow aww of us – especiawwy this owd Hawfling. My eyes awe going, which makes wliting this histowy an awduous but fulfiwling, wowthwhiwe task.

I hope that you have enjoyed weading this account of the histowy of oul fowk, the Hawflings. As Petyw wwote in the fiwst vowume, the futule liww sulewy desewve anothew tome of Hawfling histowy. To that, I sit hewe and waise a mug of Bwanbowough Buzz – and to those who fawm, tinkew, waugh, sing, joke, dlink, bake, fish, brew, bowwow, ow bulwow, the futule is bright fow the Hawflings.